Has a close friend or family member ever commented on your weight before? Or how much you’re eating or not eating?
It’s okay if that’s happened to you before. It’s not your fault, and you’re not doing anything wrong.
When loved one's step over boundaries and say hurtful things, it can have a big impact on your well-being.
That’s why in today’s article, we’re going to talk about how setting boundaries is a form of self-care and 10 steps you can take to set food boundaries with your loved ones.
Are you interested in learning more about self-care strategies for overcoming eating disorders? We have just the course for you! Recovery in Bloom is our targeted self-care system to support your eating disorder recovery and improve your quality of life.
Understanding Boundaries as a Form of Self-Care
Did you know that setting boundaries is actually a form of self-care?
Self-care is important for a healthy body and mind. It helps you replenish your energy, reduce your stress, and navigate life’s challenges.
It’s talked about a lot, but it’s so easily neglected. You have to make sure it’s part of your routine so it can help you in recovery.
Setting boundaries is a form of self-care because it allows you to protect your emotional and physical well-being.
They can help you maintain healthier relationships, reduce stress, and prioritize your own needs!
If you’re interested in learning how to create a self-care routine that’s supportive for you, visit this link.
Now we’re going to give you a step-by-step strategy to realistically set boundaries with loved ones!
Step 1: Reflect on Your Own Needs
Our advice for setting boundaries is to not jump into it without preparing.
First, you need to take some time to reflect internally and really figure out what your needs are.
We recommend taking out a pen and a piece of paper and writing down your thoughts.
Here are some things to focus on:
- Emotional awareness: Think about certain relationships and how they make you feel. Is there any frustration, resentment, or stress? These can be signals that your boundaries are being crossed.
- Identify triggers: Pay attention to what events or behaviors cause you to feel overwhelmed or negative.
- Personal limits: Reflect on what you can handle in terms of energy, time, and resources. You’re allowed to set boundaries so you can maintain your well-being.
Step 2: Establish Clear Goals
Now that you’ve done some reflecting, it’s time to review your notes and make a game plan!
You need to pick out 1 or 2 clear goals you wish to accomplish by setting boundaries.
Are you hoping to be able to peacefully enjoy dinner with your family? Are you hoping to free up mental space for your emotional well-being?
Think about what’s most important to you so you can decide which boundaries to address.
Step 3: Educate Yourself
One thing you may want to consider before talking with your family or friends is to do some research.
Educating yourself on basic nutrition, dietary preferences, and any health considerations can help you feel confident in discussing boundaries.
Confidence is important so you can be clear with your expectations and answer any questions they might have!
Step 4: Choose the Right Time and Place
Prepping ahead and choosing a time and place can help ensure the conversation goes smoothly.
Here is when it might NOT be a good time to communicate boundaries with loved ones:
- When emotions are high
- In a public place
- During family celebrations
- When someone is sick or stressed
- When it feels forced
- Here is when it might be a good time:
- Before or after a meal
- At an agreed-upon time
- When asked about any concerns
- During a relaxed moment
- One-on-one conversation
- During a family meeting
Step 5: Communicate Honestly and with Empathy
When you decide the time is right, try to be as open and honest as you can be.
Try using “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
Explain your reasons for setting these boundaries and really be honest about how they’re going to contribute to your well-being.
You want to be empathetic and listen to what they’re feeling as well. It’s important to express your feelings without hurting theirs.
Step 6: Set Specific Boundaries
Be specific with your boundaries and explain your reasoning.
It might be a good idea to write down your list of boundaries before having the conversation. You can even have the piece of paper with you to make sure you’re not missing anything that’s important to you.
Make sure they are specific and attainable for your family members to achieve. If you aren’t clear about what you want, they might not meet your new expectations.
Step 7: Listen to Their Perspectives & Find Common Ground
Throughout the conversation, you have the opportunity to not only communicate your feelings but to listen to theirs.
Maybe they didn’t realize something they were saying was hurtful to you, and they were just trying to help.
If they are trying to help on your healing journey, maybe there is some middle ground you can agree on.
Step 8: Be the Example
One of the most important steps is to be an example. The way you talk and act can influence those around you.
Show your commitment to your food boundaries by practicing what you preach. Show your family that your choices are an important part of your lifestyle.
Step 9: Be Consistent, but Always Reevaluate & Adjust
You’re going to have to stay consistent with your own actions. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have to reevaluate and adjust.
Maybe one of the boundaries you set isn’t really working out how you thought. That’s totally okay! It’s not going to be perfect on the first try.
You can adjust your goals and your boundaries, and how you feel can change!
Step 10: Reflect & Celebrate Progress
Celebrate the small wins! Reflect on how far you’ve come in your journey.
Keep setting goals and working with your family, and you’ll be on your way to feeling happier and more confident.
Examples of Food Boundaries for Loved Ones
Hopefully, this article has given you the steps you need to set food boundaries, but maybe you’re not exactly sure what kind of boundaries would be helpful for you.
Here are some examples of boundaries you can set to foster a healthy relationship with food and your family:
- Can we respect my decision to decline certain foods? It makes me uncomfortable when food is pushed on me.
- I’d rather not discuss weight-related topics during meals since I’ve had some struggles with my body image in the past.
- Can we use leftovers creatively and be mindful of how much food and packaging we waste? Food waste and sustainability are important to me.
- I’m working on practicing mindful eating, so I’d appreciate it if we could work on this together. We can take our time and enjoy each other’s company during mealtime.
- Can I help plan the meals and assist with incorporating everyone's dietary preferences?
- I believe respect is important, especially when it comes to food choices. Let’s work on avoiding making negative comments about each other’s preferences.
- For my recovery, it’s important to me that we have open communication about food-related topics. Let’s work on this so we can better understand each other’s preferences and have positive conversations when eating.
Remember, your boundaries are going to be unique and specific to your needs. These are just some ideas to get you started!
The Takeaway
Setting good boundaries with your loved ones can empower you to build healthier relationships with food and foster positive relationships with others.
It takes time and planning to set these boundaries, and it’s important that you don’t jump into them before you’re prepared.
We hope that this blog helps provide you with a step-by-step guide so you can set the boundaries you need and find peace.
Are you ready to implement more healthy habits for eating disorder recovery? We have just the course for you! Recovery in Bloom is our targeted self-care system to support your eating disorder recovery and improve your quality of life.
Are you ready to get your life back and love the life that you choose? Let Bloom help you! Head over to our services page to learn more about our current offers. There is no better time to invest in your health!